Day 5: The Day I Kept Accidentally Speaking in a British Accent

In New York, I quite often get asked by tourists for directions and other geographical inquires, which I attribute to the fact that in general, a blonde chignon and a cardigan with a sweater clip don't scream, "serial killer!" And since I don't seem the type to run off with your camera, I get asked to take people's pictures....a lot. The same seems to be true in London, only I'm out of my element and can't always answer questions. But instead of just politely saying "I'm not sure, I'm visiting the area myself!" every time I opened my mouth today, I had some varying degree of an English accent, which was totally unintentional. I blame the fact that I've been conversing mostly to myself in my head, and because of osmosis and the inability to practice my regular speak and repeating the way they say things in my head because I like the sound, this accent pops out by accident.

And no one seems to notice I'm a fraud

I literally had an entire conversation with a man in the grocery store who asked my opinion about butter beans for his recipe. He was British, I answered him as a British person, and he didn't give me any indication he knew my secret. I was mortified, but once you've started you can't stop without seeming like a crazy, bi-polar serial killer. And then who would people get to take their picture?

I have a lot of sympathy for Madonna right now.

Anyway, moving on to my rockin' day...

I had tickets to see Anne Boleyn at the replica of The Globe Theatre, so in the early morning headed over to Southwark (Suth-UCK) on the other side of the Thames. The Globe is next to the Tate Modern, and across the Millennium Bridge. Which was confusing to me, cause I'm pretty sure the Dementors destroyed it in one of the Harry Potter movies...


Here's the bridge in the morning, with the dome of St. Paul's rising in the background. The bridge was opened in 2000, but was so wobbly they had to close it for over a year to stabilize it.


And here's the Tate Modern, which I didn't get to go into today. But of all the museums I should go to this is last on my list, as I'm a bit more interested in "all the old stuff."


So on to the Globe, which is a 1997 replica, built about a block away from where the original stood, and which burned down during a production of Henry VIII in 1612. Interestingly, the play I saw today was about Anne Boleyn and Henry.


There is an exhibition inside, and you go on a guided tour. Here's the inside!





A wee baby model.





On opening night, Queen Elizabeth II opened the theatre, and Queen Elizabeth (the first) rode in, mounted on a white horse, in completely period style clothes. I would give anything to put that dress on.


The exhibitor had a section where you could go into a little room, and practice reading Shakespeare. When you were ready, you could read lines and record them, which is exactly what I did, and definitely did not help with my English accent troubles. I video taped it, but that will have to wait to be posted when I return.



I had to pick up my cushion! The plays are 3 hours long, and there are no backs to the stands. Plus they're all made of pine. But the real experience is apparently had by those who stand in front of the stage, some 300 people do it! (we did see one of them faint!)

To be honest, I wasn't entirely looking forward to the play. I've never been an intense theatre-goer, and this production isn't by Shakespeare (they do put on other period and more modern productions.) But even though I booked months ago, this was the only one that had a couple available seats. I was pleasantly surprised and totally smitten by the production, however. It was absolutely HILARIOUS, and I don't think I've ever laughed so much during a play. It also managed to be terrifying and dramatic with a quick swiftness.

It is a modern production, written by Howard Brenton, and as it was the last performance of the season, the authors was THERE, which was really just the cherry on top of this theatrical cake.

In an interesting method, Brenton uses James I, who followed Elizabeth I as King of England, to tell the story of Anne Boleyn, the mother of Elizabeth I. And as an interesting aside, James I is the one responsible for ordering the new translation of the bible, what you know as the King James Bible, and since this is the 400th anniversary (1611), I just thought it was a great choice. (And for my friends at The Museum of Biblical Art, I have seen mini commemorative set ups at St George's Chapel at Windsor and in the Shakespeare museum. I think I saw a third but can't remember for sure now. Needless to say, yours is the best!)

Anyway, it didn't matter that I was on a wooden bench, because I would have been sitting at the edge of my seat anyway. The play was just pure amusement and entertainment.


You can eat in the theatre, so I got this for lunch. They called it a beef and sour salad. Of course I forgot a fork...


I have nightmares about situations like this...


So then I went on a self-guided walking tour, and I'll briefly share some of the highlights. Here's the view of Tower Bridge (a drawbridge) and the HMS Belfast.


This is Southwark Bridge, with a view of St. Paul's dome.


The pyramid topped building is Canary Warf Tower...currently the tallest building in London until....


... the "Shard of Glass" is completed, which will take the record when completed next year.


You can see the tippy tops of the Tower.


Here's that bridal cake church again, which is oddly called St. Bride's church.


Here's the bridge I was on to take those pictures... London Bridge! The most recent bridge was built in 1972, and is the fourth version of the bridge to span this crossing in 2,000 years. The last one was built in 1200 and stood for over six centuries. It's also the place where Mel Gibson's head was stuck on a pike. I'm sorry, I do of course mean William Wallace. (Que the yelling of the famous lines....)


This is a replica of the Golden Hinde (see the deer? The Hinde...), which Sir Francis Drake took 'round the world, bringing back fabulous treasure and riches for Elizabeth I.


This is all that remains of Winchester Palace, which must have just been spectacular to see, stretched grandly along the Thames.

I stopped in a little kitschy looking museum which is built in the actual prison cells of Winchester Palace, and which have a terrible history. It's called "The Clink Prison Museum" and is where we get the reference. But unfortunately for me, after paying £6 for a ticket, I get to the bottom and inside only to find that they used MANNEQUINS for all the displays, and I was the ONLY PERSON down there. If you know me, you know I tore outta there as fast as possible into the safety of the sunlight and real, breathing people.

Ughhhhh shudder.


Here is all that remains to commemorate the place where the Globe Theatre originally stood.






The Thames is a tidal river and at low tide you can walk along the banks. But not now....



So then, at the urging of a Rick Steves, I stopped at The Anchor for dinner, a very old establishment. A tavern has stood there for 800 years! It's believed Shakespeare drank there, and Chaucer referred to it in back in the 1300's. This picture is my view of the Thames from the window.


And my nom noms!


After dinner I decided to cross the Millennium Bridge! I was sunny and lovely!





This is my picture of the choppy Thames in the sunlight.


And I made my way to St. Paul's.





Here is a replica statue of Queen Anne, showing the dominions of Britain. Its interesting because it was made when England was still ruler of America. Here is the statue representing America as a Native American carrying a golden bow. The figure on the right is Britannia, who rules the waves!

After this adventurous day, I thought I might go see Harry Potter, but I couldn't get the movie times before trekking to the theatre. So I came back to the hostel early, where it has take me 2 hours to write this post for you!

Tomorrow is a very early morning, and the day involves more mannequins, but is quickly followed by PRETTY SPARKLY THINGS!!!! Can you guess?


And for my most loyal blog commentator, Juliette, I present to you this enticement to visit London very soon.